About a week ago I was journaling about how good it felt to be on a roll in the studio. Everything on this particular day flowed effortlessly and I felt annoyed, knowing I had somewhere to be that evening . It was one of those magical days where I could have worked all night and not been tired. I believed it was the hesitant Spring warmth instilling my palette with rich color and life. Returning to the work yesterday, everything felt different. The tease of Spring that brought me so much energy had turned to a cold, dismal New England rain. It made me consider how much the weather has an effect on my state of mind.
You mentioned how you have not been patient for things you want in your life. This is something I struggle with this as well, particularly with my new work. As you know the series I am working on for my upcoming show in June has been weighing on my mind. Trying to balance studio time with teaching is where I am not patient with myself. I strive to excel at both, yet get impatient when I have to trade one for the other, never feeling like I am getting where I aspire to be. If I practiced patience and listening, I would be enjoying the “conversation” in both areas of my life in a different way. You reminded me how every moment, whether it be teaching others, learning new things for myself or practicing my craft informs the artist I strive to be. Without these experiences, emotions, and encounters my work would feel very different. I believe the conversation within the work wouldn’t be as layered and meaningful. Maybe it wasn’t the weather that was disrupting the flow of my work in the studio, but the resistance I was having to my gloomy state of mind. I will continue to practice acceptance of what “is,” reminding myself once again to be present and embracing the gift of each moment. xoL